A couple of months ago, I started cleaning my house. Very slowly.
Every Thursday night, I put wrestling on and sort through everything that can be recycled at curbside and put out whatever will fit into my two bins.
Every Monday night, I put wrestling on again and sort what can’t be recycled, shred any delicate papers, and then throw it all away. These two nights a week have barely made a dent in the mess I’m faced with, by the way. Just the amount of shredded paper alone is staggering. It’s like Rip Taylor ejaculated in my trash bin.
Every time I go through this, I always find old CDs I forgot I owned, scratched DVDs, and magazines from the ’90s. I find scraps of paper with horrible lyrics scribbled on them from songs I never finished writing. Last Thursday I found an old pair of pants from when I was over four-hundred pounds. I even found some old Pokemon cards and figures. Shut up, I went through a phase.
It’s occasionally painful but also incredibly cathartic. I think that’s why I do it so slowly. It’s weird finding these little pieces of yourself, pieces of who you used to be, and then unceremoniously stuffing them into a garbage bag. Every Monday and Thursday — wrestling and cleaning.
Anyway, in closing, I’d just like to say that the fat pants were easily the most enjoyable thing to throw away, the Pokemon Gameboy games were actually pretty rad, and C.M. Punk for W.W.E Champion!
“Weighty Ghost” by Wintersleep
